The trouble with men - or with women?Here's a woman lamenting the lack of men who are "willing to commit." I'd just like to remind her that it was in fact the women who started this whole "single is best" culture that now permeats much of the West. Since women initiate most divorces and a divorce can potentially mean financial ruin for a man, it shouldn't really be too surprising that many men hesitate to get involved at all. The difficult part is actually explaining why so many men still get married. At the same time, women during the past few decades have made it a lot easier to have a girlfriend, without getting married. So women make it more risky to get married and easier to stay unmarried, and then they wonder why men "won't commit?" Uhhh, well, I don't know. Maybe too many women didn't think all this Feminism stuff quite through before jumping on the bandwagon?
The trouble with men
We’re also pretty clued up about why our generation is delaying having children — and it has nothing to do with being failed by employers or health planners. Nor, despite endless newspaper features on the subject, does it have much to do with business women putting careers before babies. In my experience, the root cause of the epidemic lies with a collective failure of nerve among men our age. How many young women do you know, happily married or the equivalent, who are wilfully refusing to have children now at the risk of running the gauntlet of IVF in five years time? Quite. Dr Bewley accuses women of ‘playing Russian roulette’ with nature, but the point is we’re only interested in having babies if they are fathered by men we love and who are going to stick around and enjoy bringing the little brutes up. By the time they hit their mid-thirties even the most dedicated career women are ready to do some nesting — even if that means grudgingly accepting that our careers are more likely to suffer than our mate’s and that we’ll probably end up changing most of the nappies. The trouble is that very few of our male contemporaries are what you might call twig in beak. Of course not every man his age is in a state of prolonged adolescence, but a critical mass of them are. I recently went to a wedding where the presiding vicar actually congratulated the groom on having enough ‘backbone’ to commit to marriage while his spineless contemporaries squirmed in their pews. I don’t know a woman of my age whose version of living happily ever after fundamentally hinges on becoming editor, or senior partner, or surgeon, or leading counsel. But faced with a generation of emotionally immature men who seem to view marriage as the last thing they’ll do before they die, we have little option but to wait.