Beyond homesickness: Western wives in Egypt
Beyond homesickness: Western wives in EgyptWith Karen's niqab (veil) covering up most of her face, you can still see bitterness in her eyes. You can hear resentment in her voice as she tells her story. She refuses to have her real name and nationality published, but she claims to speak on behalf of many Western women living in Egypt, married to, or divorced from, Egyptians. After converting to Islam, Karen moved to Egypt with a few other women who shared with her idealistic ideas about living in a Muslim-majority country. They were soon confronted with the reality about the people's "ignorance of Islam" and deviation from its teachings. Her first year as a foreigner on her own in Cairo was the most difficult. "I have never felt as lonely as I felt here in this city with 16 million people," she says. "Being a woman as well as a foreigner put me in a double disadvantage. It's a men's country, [where] men don't take women seriously ... and tend to take advantage of them." She decided she couldn't stay in Egypt unless married and she accepted a marriage offer by an Egyptian man, a decision that she regrets. "Marriage itself is difficult, cross-cultural marriage is more difficult, and when you don't understand the other's culture, you have a third degree of difficulty." Cultural differences resulted in her divorce. Egypt's culture, in Karen's opinion, is one of manipulation, not directness. "Egyptians are obsessed with covering their back. In the West we are direct because we have a system that covers us up." As a result, she says, "The [Egyptian] husband [of a Western woman] thinks, 'My wife is not respecting me' when all what she is doing is being direct." Cultural differences made Karen feel "oppressed" in her marriage: "The Western woman enters the relationship on a 50-50 basis, whereas men in Egypt tend to be brought up to feel they are superior to the girls in the family.
posted by Unknown @ 9:02 PM
6 Comments:
I have to agree with sissyblue. It's called research.
I read the whole article, and my sympathy just evaporated by the end. Stupid women who get themselves into stupid situations and brainwash themselves that it all makes sense. puhleeze
I have absolutely no sympathy for this woman either. Although it doesn't give her age, not even the very young could be that ignorant in today's world. What did she expect? I think we should send Barbara Walters to save her--I hear she on very good terms with the Islamists.
Some women just can't be saved.
I just read an article about British Pakistani girls who were taken to Pakistan ostensibly for a visit with Grandma and Grandpa.
Once they got there, Mom and Dad told the girls that they were going to be married, and that they would be shot if they tried to escape.
The girls did get back to Britian, where they were given lodging, etc. at taxpayer expense.
Their next step? Reconciling with "shoot the daughters if they try to escape" loving old Mom and Dad.
Karen: When you lie down with dogs, don't complain when you wake up with fleas. Why don't you escape Eqypt and say "screw Islam"?
I feel sorry for this woman who is in a difficult situation. But I agree with the other commentators here that she put herself in this situation and should have done better research.
I have nothing against inter-ethnic or cross-cultural marriages (my own is partly cross-cultural). However, just like any marriage you have to understand your future partner's cultural background. For example, would you be willing to let your children grow up in this country/culture? If not, you'd better think twice.
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